Nurse Jackie

I’ve had a shit day. A truly difficult day- my transition to adult services is going terribly despite my team’s constant reassurances that it wouldn’t, my therapist was half an hour late to our hour session and although she was so apologetic, it was horrible as at the time I was convinced the Team had left me or she or her children had been in an accident. I’m having pretty horrific, realistic nightmares that when I wake up from for weeks after I struggle to differentiate whether details in them were real or not and I’m hallucinating rotting flesh, which has driven me to carrying blades around with me. My mind is playing tricks with me and mental illness is cruel.

That said, thanks to kind twitter friends who seem to always know just what is needed and this song I heard from Nurse Jackie (an amazing show which has been a great distraction for me) I am saying Fuck it. I can do this. We all can.

Half Smile it out (DBT reference)

Make pancakes

Stroke a pet

Look up cute animals on google

Write an angry letter to your disorder stubbornly refusing to let it win

Sit on the floor with some comfy cushions, do a crossword and listen to Stephen Fry read a children’s audiobook

Rant on social media if you must

Watch Nurse Jackie!

And listen to this beautiful song…

Take Care x


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3 thoughts on “Nurse Jackie

  1. I’ve only ever been under the Adult Mental Health Team, so I don’t know what that transition is like. But I do know how much I struggle with change and meeting new people so I can imagine how emotionally fragile you must be feeling right now. All I can say is that you seem to have a good idea of the things that help, so (although easier said than done, I know) try and focus on these and, as you say, make use of Twitter. I generally find there is always someone there who will offer helpful advice, or even just be a sounding board.

    Oh, and that song is beautiful. The words are so poignant and I bet a lot of people with MH difficulties can relate to them. I’ve never watched Nurse Jackie but, being a MASSIVE Sopranos fan, I do like Edie Falco!


  2. I love the idea of writing an angry letter to your disorder…I’ve nevertheless bought of that before. I think you’ve just given me an idea for my next blog post! And my therapist will probably get a kick out of hearing about this letter…

  3. Pingback: an open letter to my disorder | this [borderline] life

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