The song that sums it all up.

Hello all,

This week has been a hard one. I’m in the midst of a transition between services and saw my psychologist for the last time on Thursday. She has helped me so very much, it is practically impossible to describe the difference in where I’m at, mental illness vs life-wise, from when I began Dialectical Behaviour Therapy to now. Besides, ‘I’m not good with endings’ would be underplaying the reaction I have towards leaving people (or being left by people as I often see it) quite dramatically. That said, good friends, art, teachers and my own hard work has gotten me through, along with a long nap today (don’t be jealous of my wild life.) And I’ve met my new Care Coordinator several times now and she does seem very nice. My destructive urges are very high but I really want to push through them.

So here it is. A song that has helped me so very much this week. I feel it perfectly describe the sensitivity to things my mental illness gives me, that madness. I feel detached from the world, trapped by all the pain- that blackens my view at times. It talks about not being able to see my love, I don’t know whether he is talking about a person. But I am so passionate that sometimes it’s gives me life but sometimes it overwhelms me and just feels like all these small things….However, I wonder how many people with different mental illnesses this song really could be applicable to. He is just incredible. This is an acoustic version I recommend listening to the recorded song on iTunes.

Oh my mind, I walk down Mayflower road again
Wanin’ sun, echoes from the park seem so absurd
The bus takes hours, I knew it good but I can’t shake the stand
Can’t spend my time on everybody else
If buildings fell, at least we’d be in matrimony
I can’t control, the words kaleidoscope inside my head

Has the world gone mad or is it me?
All these small things, they gather ’round me, gather ’round me
Is it all so very bad, I can’t see
All these small things, they gather ’round me, gather ’round me
And I can’t see my love

Saw the Police screamin’ somethin’ trivial like keep the peace
The world moves on and you can’t shake the sound
I know she’s home leanin’ on somebody loving life
All in my mind the anvil and the weight on my back

Has the world gone mad or is it me?
All these small things, they gather ’round me, gather ’round me
Is it all so very bad, I can’t see
All these small things, they gather ’round me, gather ’round me
And I can’t see my love

Has the world gone mad or is it me?
All these small things, they gather ’round me, gather ’round me
Is it all so very bad, I can’t see
All these small things, they gather ’round me, gather ’round me
And I can’t see my love

The song is beautiful yet dark. I would also recommend The Fear, Follaton Wood, and River in your Mouth by Ben Howard. Thankyou so much for all your comments and likes.

Little-things

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2 thoughts on “The song that sums it all up.

  1. 1st what a great blog!
    2nd im starting DBT in January along with an ‘Emotional Regulation’ course.
    I’ve also got a new CPN & consultant & a great therapist. I suffer with BPD amongst other things.
    I’ve had a long nap today and also have a self destruct button.
    God bless Adam

  2. I think you know where I stand when it comes to Ben Howard (and much more that we mutually tag as #musictherapy). Thank you for making me pay attention to the lyrics here – the chorus, in particular, resonates. Mental illness often does something to us that means we can’t see the wood for the trees and too many ‘small’ things cause us unbearable pain.

    You’re doing great, and don’t forget – #wecandohardthings

    xxx

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