Inspiration/advice anyone? Please…?

I’ve had a bit of a shit week to be honest with you. It’s not that there haven’t been very select times of alright-ness, they’ve just been overtaken by meh. Wow what an opening line ey? Nothing like an into to excite the readers in…

I am currently in bed wearing the comfiest clothes I could find- clean and soft on my skin with my hair back and a bucket of water with a scrubs brush and sponge in it. The itches are back (those of you who read this blog will understand.) It literally feels like I have bugs crawling on my skin. I’ve had to take off all bandages, rolled up my sleeves and legs and just try to ignore the itches that if i’m not careful will open up old wounds. I am so uncomfortable it is a joke- Every second there are a few itches, right now for example a get a tingle on my outer right hand, my right cheek, under my left eye, my left upper forehead… it sounds ridiculous I know and I’ve just given in again itching my arm and forehead. And just now my hand. Do people identify with this?? The only thing that seems to help me is sponging myself with water every other second.

I have self harmed multiple times each day this week since. No stitches have been needed but a lot of steri strips and dressings and several kind nurses at my GP practice. I’ve been going between numb and depressed and the numb really is complete loss of sensation and emotion and motivation. I don’t know if I can bare to carry on DBT anymore. I’m fed up. Surely learning to deal with this condition shouldn’t be as hard as this? Is that what I’m doing or am I kidding myself thinking I am in the ‘recovering’ stage. Any inspiration anyone?

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